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Here are my skills:

 

Being handsome

I'm very handsome. I'm probably the most handsome person I've ever seen. 

You and all of your family will be physically attracted to me.

 

Being funny

'Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha' -

that's an impression of another person talking to me.  After two minutes.

 

Being cool

I'm rad, I'm wicked, I'm gnarly. I'm like Will Smith but cooler. 

And sexier.

Basically, I'm incredible.

 

Being a writer

Writing is my job, whatever, who cares. But you can employ me if you like.

It's your call, do what you want.

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I specialise in travel writing, SEO, marketing and scriptwriting. I also like hiking, hitchhiking, traveling, laughing, lifting weights, writing comedy poetry and taking photographs,

 

But you don't care about any of that, because you're here to hire me, not to hear about my hobbies.

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So stop wasting your time, and hurry up and hire me. 

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